Survival

How to Sneak into Your House after Curfew

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Beating a curfew is all in the preparation. So take a little time now to get things ready for the next time you find yourself on the wrong side of midnight…

Step 1: Practice
Practice! When no one is around, make dry runs from the front door to your room until you can do it as noiselessly as possible.

Step 2: Memorize path to room
Memorize everything on the path to your room, including creaky floorboards, squeaky doors, and noisy breakables.

Tip
Stick as close to the wall as possible. Over time, most floorboards warp and squeak, but the boards near the wall stay strong.

Step 3: Practice route blindfolded
Now practice your route blindfolded. Once you can master that, you’re ready.

Tip
Don’t bother with night vision or camouflage. This is curfew, not a secret war in Nicaragua.

Step 4: Stash nightwear
Stash a set of whatever you sleep in somewhere near your home – AHEM – so you can change into your nightwear before creeping inside.

Step 5: Prepare excuse
Prepare an excuse in the unfortunate event that you get caught. ‘I heard a noise outside and went to investigate’ is always good.

Tip
Skip the perfume or cologne on the night in question. The scent may be enough to awaken a sensitive sleeper.

Step 6: Keep doggy treats on hand
Keep a few doggy treats on hand so you can quickly quiet any barking dogs.

Tip
If someone is driving you home, have them cut the engine and coast to a stop before your house. Turn off the radio at least a block away—two if you’re playing hip-hop or heavy metal.

Step 7: Be careful with handle
Open the front door, step inside, and don’t let go of the handle until you’ve gently closed the door all the way.

Tip
Take only the keys you’ll need so the rest don’t jingle and give you away.

Step 8: Get in bed & stay there
Get in bed immediately and stay there. Too much movement in your room is a dead giveaway.

Did You Know?
The word ‘curfew,’ which is French for ‘cover fire,’ comes from the medieval practice of ringing a bell at night to remind people to put out their fires before bed.

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